“What you didn’t know about me.”

Posted by Honest John - September 14, 2020 - Classifieds, Honest John's Blog -

I was born the first child of identical twins. I came out first. Unfortunately my brother did not make it due to complications. (Or so I was Told) My whole life I have felt my brother’s presence. He watches over me like a guardian angel. Strange events have happened. Many years ago while I was on vacation in Mexico I was enjoying a cold Corona at a small family owned bar in Merida, when a very thin well dressed man with a large iguana on his shoulder walked in. I couldn’t help but notice, the man was leading a leprechaun in with a rope around his neck as if he were a pet. This man walked up to the bar and addressed the barkeep, ” I’ll have a beer for myself and a whiskey for the lizard.” The bartender asked the man, ” What can I get for the little fella?” The slender man replied, ” I don’t know, Why don’t you ask his BROTHER?” Cold chills ran down my spine! The leprechaun looked up at me with a sad filthy face and I thought, “Could this be my long lost twin?” It really was creeping me out thinking that I may have leprechaun DNA in my genetic helix!!!! Just at that moment a second leprechaun walked into the bar. He had a sardonic grin on his face as he shouted at the bartender, ” My little brother there will have a very dry martini, stirred not shaken, and I’ll have a glass of your house Merlot.” The bartender explained that he did not offer any wine in his bar. At that point both leprechauns looked at each other, smiled and gave me a salute as if they knew me. Then without a word they turned toward the door and calmly walked out together. The slender man grabbed the iguana from his shoulder and put him on the bar next to the small glass of whiskey. The iguana began to lap the whiskey out of the glass with it’s tongue. The slender man spoke, “Damn I’m glad they’re gone.” The bartender asked, “What’s your problem sir, you don’t like little people?” The slender man replied, ” That’s not it. I just hate leprechauns.”

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